Is there something wrong with me?

Michael jackson died 2 years ago as you all know. I've loved M.J since my mom introduced me to his music when i was 6. She had to ban me from him for a year because she thought i had an unhealthy obsession. When mj died 5 days befor my bday i thought i had gotten over it but last month i rediscovered how much i love him. I was grounded so i had plenty of time to break down and cry as much as i needed to. Ive cried almost everyday for the past month. I can only remember crying once about my grandma's death and i never met her either. Im not always depressed but when im alone thinking about mj its like a cloud of sorrow blankets me. Do i need help? And please no mean comments about mj im already hurting enough. And to you all who say mj looked like a freak, beauty is not only skin deep. So do i need help? Plz give me real answers and not snarky jokes about mj. Btw does it make a difference in your answer if i tell you im 12 years old? Plz answer as best you can